a new (tea) leaf

It's been a summer invoking much agonizing. summer loves and changes always do end in afternoons of tea and sympathy. I've decided that although I love the long days and warm nights, the lazy beach days and abundance of fabulous fruit that accompanies summer, I'm looking forward to those moments when I can rug up with a good book and good CD, listening to the rain outside all by my lonesome...
And most of all I'm looking forward to the day when I can be all by my lonesome and not feel afraid of being alone, of being the one left out in the cold.
I'm starting to learn the timeless lesson of not looking to another one (and only one) person to validate who I am and accept me. It's the beginning of seeing that putting someone on a pedestal and holding them high and dry above everyone else is pointless and doesn't justify neglecting those who are there for me all along nor myself.

currently in my cd player:
George - Polyserena
Jaco Pastorious - Word of Mouth
The Roots - Game Theory

(how's that for a bit of variety?)

things and fewer key rings

'Things' have been really rough for me lately. 'Things' in my life have been pretty crazy. Why do 'things' always complicate my life?
I've had so many 'things' happen that I completely missed November in the blogging department and can only offer one thing as retribution for this atrocity...cinnamon and apple tea. Best thing in the world to cure the worst case of 'thing'.

And I got rid of one of my key rings that was really holding me back and needed to go.

Music RIGHT NOW:
The Fray (totally into them...especially 'Look After You')

P.S. Although I'm usually a huge fan of boys...I am totally voting for us girls to get rid of them. Who's with me??

P.P.S. Oh, and I figured out the numerous key rings 'thing'...emotional baggage.

key problem

If anyone really knows me, they'll know that I have about a million and one key-rings with various objects dangling from them. I have accumulated an unprecedented number of them through the whole of my lilfe, and still they keep on coming. People give them to me as gifts, I get them free with the clothes I buy and my sister wins them in lucky dips. However, I needs ask one question: if I own only 4 keys (all of which I carry one the same key-ring) why do I need so many key-rings?

globe-trotter

Why do I always seem to blog when I'm sick? The weather has recently turned nasty; actually, that's not true, it's usually that way (changing one day from stifling to freezing); and so a head cold has been blown my way by the fitful wind and patchy rain.
What do I do when I am sick? I sit on the sofa with a cup of tea, a box of tissues and the travel channel in front of me.
Hence, I have much travelling to share for this week: I have been to Glasgow and the Scottish Highlands, Copenhagen and Iceland, Germany for Oktoberfest and Peru for Carnivale. And on top of that busy schedule (I had to take Berocca performance just to get through it all!) I visited Cairns to go whitewater rafting and scuba diving as well as random parts of Greece, which I don't remember because I was too drowsy to take in. Phew! What a busy couple of days! And I never had to leave the comfort of my own couch.
Ahh the wonders of modern-day travel!

my heart

My mind ever turns to the beauty of Europe. I long for rolling fields and sunshine-dappled forests. I yearn for wind-blown cliffs and towering crags. I crave the warmth of the blue Mediterranean sea and the openness of the sky. I desire the cloudy mists that cling to the valleys and the rain that drenches the earth in sparkling beads.
I ache to stand on the edge of a precipice with my arms outstretched, the setting sun on my face and the wind through my hair.
I wish to fly.

rooibus

I've recently discovered this new African tea called Rooibus (don't ask me how to pronounce it) which tastes rather strange, but somewhat pleasing. A new tea for a new semester of uni. And hopefully a fresh start to trying to get my life in order. Doing the things I've put off for a long time, cleaning out the junk that is left over from my high school life (yes I too am a packrat!) and spending time with the friends that I thought might always be there but turns out probably won't (one of my closest friends is leaving for France very soon)...it seems that reality might finally be settling into my little bubble-wrapped life - not that i don't like bubble-wrap (fun to pop, funny to feel) but such protection might not always serve to make me the most effective in achieving what I want to do with myself in the short time I have here on this third planet from the sun.

I think I've overcome my TV watching habits in the past few days. It's easier when you're busy trying to fit everything in - gym, dance, study, friends, family, work, a nice hot long bath...however I am still addicted to the FOOD channel (I caution against watching it at 12 midnight like I do - causes extra kilos and more trips to the gym) and 24...but trying it cold turkey with the 24. That ticking when the show breaks for the ads really started to drive me crazy. 24-watchers will understand what I'm talking about...but no, seriously what does happen at the end of season 5???

Need a nice hot cup of tea taken in a bubble bath, jazz playing in the background, candles lit and my sore throat/cough gone...ahhhh paradise

lemon twist

I have been watching so much tv lately. It's something that I don't do regularly because I usually have so many other things that I need to and want to do - and it always ended up wasting the precious time of day that was so vital to my sanity. I'm seriously becoming a gym junkie couch potato; I know that sounds like a paradox but I'll explain: I go to the gym and I love it. I love my Pilates classes and my body pump classes and doing the whole gym thing (which is very unlike me) makes me feel so good and healthy and fresh. But then, because I'm feeling so healthy and like I'm losing weight or toning the (barely there) muscles in my stomach, thighs and arms, I feel that I can reward myself with yummy treats like chips and cookies and sit on a couch all day watching brainless tv and not really moving much...
What a tragic, self-depreciating psychology I have gotten myself into. This is not something I would normally do or even get myself into...it's that damn tv! It is to blame for my sad situation! What a sour little trickster that (rather large) black box has showed himself to be! Through the meticulous organised teasing with ads to catch my attention and draw me in with clever programming, like Great Food Live on the Food channel right before Whose Wedding is it Anyway on Arena followed by 24 on channel 7 which is followed by Spy on Lifestyle...how shall the vicious cycle ever come to it's shivering, needy, cold turkey end??

So glad I can go back to normal life and university...ahhh university: exploring the immoral, vicious cycle of money, ambition, desire to kill the environment and a depressing philosophy that we're all going to die because the Nike's of the world will stop at nothing to get what they want...and we'll never stop them.

I'm not buying Nike shoes anymore...

ticket to freedom

why is it that things in life always end up being paradoxes?
things like how living under rules ultimately results in 'freedom'...and how you end up being wise when you're old yet when you're old you have less times in which you decisively need that wisdom...
how is it that loneliness will eventually lead to a closer relationship with God when loneliness doesn't connotate being in relationship with someone?
and why is it that reading books that imitates or represents life makes you want to attain the life described in those books, yet in doing so you are not really living life...but a perpetuated reality? same goes for tv...

random little thought: going to the jason mraz concert in Sydney this august! very excited to get tickets...i love tickets...

un petit verre

je voudrais un peu de temps pour souffler et prendre un café...

sencha green

Playing currently on iTunes:
Brooke Fraser - What to do with daylight
Ella Fitzgerald - single: "What is this thing called love"
Peggy Lee - single: "I didn't know what time it was"


I rewatched my all-time favourite French movie today, Dieu est grand, et moi je suis toute petite by Pascale Bailly (2001), for probably the seventh or eigth time since it was given to me this past February. It stars Audrey Tatou of La fabuleux destin d'Ameile Poulain fame, and Edouard Baer (who's absolutely gorgeous in this film!). Every minute of that film makes me long to return to the country of my daydreams and finally conquer the language that has invaded my life for so long.

I like the names of the colours of paint I saw recently...names like wasabi green, caprioska, snow pea and apple crunch...


This is my ledge
of quiet,
my shelf of peace,
edged
by its crooked rails
holding back the beyond.
Above,
a hawk sails
high
to challenge clouds
trespassing
my plot of sky.
Below
in the valley
remote and dim,
sounds
come and go,
a requiem
for quiet.
Here on my ledge,
quiet praise:
of birds,
crickets,
breeze -
in different ways;
and so do I -
for these:
my ledge of quiet,
my plot of sky;
for peace.

- Ruth Bell Graham